


Until Her Heart Breaks

by bellamyblue



Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: Gen, I'm Sorry, Minor Dick Grayson/Koriand'r, but it gets better, this is kinda dark?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 06:10:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17218448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellamyblue/pseuds/bellamyblue
Summary: For a moment, Rachel thought that maybe they were winning.She was wrong.Set post-season 1 of Titans during the battle against Trigon. WARNING: Multiple character deaths.





	Until Her Heart Breaks

For a moment, Rachel thought that maybe they were winning.

Kory and Donna had managed to talk Dick out of whatever dark spell her father had woven, bringing him back to himself. Then it was five on two—or five on one, really. Angela might have been a master of deception but in battle, Rachel soon learned, she was rather useless. They circled Trigon in the open field: Kory all aglow and literally sending off sparks into the crisp, pre-dawn air, Donna with her lasso at the ready, Gar in tiger form growling ferociously, Dick angrier than she’d ever seen him, and Rachel herself, feeling her own darkness and anger build at her temples and in her fingertips.

Trigon was holding his own against them, but reinforcements showed in the form of Hank, Dawn, and Jason, and then they really went at him, fists and lasso flying, all fire and shadows and flashes of green fur. Rachel thought maybe they had a chance. 

She was wrong. 

With a flick of his fingers, Trigon caught everyone mid-motion, holding them still with some unseen force. 

“That’s enough of that, don’t you think, sweetheart?” he crooned at Rachel. 

She struggled but couldn’t seem to move except to spit in his direction. 

“Now, I’d love for the real fun to start, but unfortunately, I’m in need of your assistance one last time.” 

Rachel could see her mother lingering at the outside of the circle, watching with unbridled glee. 

“I’ll never do anything for you!” she hissed, feeling the muscles in her calves beginning to cramp. 

“Sure you will.” Trigon sauntered closer, cupping her face in one clammy hand. “All I need is for your heart to break. All I need is for you to lose… everything.” 

An icy shiver of fear crept up her spine. _No, no, not this…_  

“Let’s start with the easy ones, shall we?” 

Trigon waved a finger, and across the field, Jason Todd’s neck suddenly made a terrible noise, snapping to the side at an unnatural angle. He collapsed into the grass and did not move. Before anyone could even react, Donna began gasping and choking. Freed from whatever force was keeping the others still, she sank to her knees, clutching at her throat. 

“Donna!” Dick screamed, his voice breaking. “Let her go, you bastard!” 

But Trigon only smiled, and a few moments later, Donna’s gasps faded into silence as she, too, collapsed, dead. 

Rachel could feel tears sliding down her cheeks, leaving burning trails of anger. “Stop this,” she begged. “I’ll do whatever you want me to do, but you have to stop!” 

“This _is_ what I want you to do. Come now, child, we’ve only just begun!” 

He waved again, and this time Hank began screaming in pain. 

Rachel barely heard Dawn crying, Dick yelling himself hoarse. All the sound faded from her ears, her vision darkening until all that she could see was Hank, writhing on the ground. _No, please, no…_  

By the time Hank stopped moving, Dawn’s cries had turned to screeches of pain, too, and then she was gone, her pale costume splayed out in stark contrast against the grass. 

Rachel couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. She knew Dick was sobbing, knew that Kory was still struggling fiercely to move, but she couldn’t process that. Hank and Dawn couldn’t be dead. They just couldn’t. Part of her knew what was coming next, but part of her still couldn’t get past what had already happened, the sounds of it echoing in her brain, nearly drowning out her father’s next words. 

“Now, this won’t do. We’ll have to see your face, young man.” He pointed at the green tiger crouched beside Rachel, and in moments, the tiger had become Gar, shaking and naked, terrified. 

“Rachel, I’m so sorry,” he whispered, and then Trigon was standing over him. 

With a flick of Trigon’s thumb, Gar’s chest seemed to cave inwards. There was hardly any time for pain, just a surprised gasp— _oof_ —and then his eyes went glassy, empty. 

Rachel knew someone was screaming—maybe she was screaming—and Gar was just lying there, unmoving, and he couldn’t be gone, couldn’t be gone… 

“As for you, my darling,” Trigon sang out, making his way towards Kory. “Perhaps we’ll have a bit of irony, shall we?”

“Don’t you fucking touch her!” Dick screamed.

Kory didn’t react, staring Trigon down with all the cool fury she possessed. “Rachel,” she said, “don’t look, okay?” 

But Rachel couldn’t bring herself to close her eyes. 

Trigon smiled, and Kory burst into flames, the fire consuming her in a tower of heat. She didn’t scream, not even once, and when the flames died down, there was nothing there but a pillar of ash. 

“And now, the grand finale.” Trigon stood in front of Dick, contemplative. “How should we do it, then? Any preferences?” 

“Fuck you,” Dick sobbed. 

Rachel couldn’t breathe. This couldn’t be real. It had to be a dream. 

“Any last words, Dick?” Trigon asked merrily, flexing his fingers. 

Dick looked at Rachel, his faced coated in tears and grime. “Whatever he says, Rachel, this is not your fault. You…” His breath caught. “You are _good_. You’re not cursed, or evil. You are good. Don’t let him…” 

Trigon didn’t wait for him to finish. With one hand, he punched through the air, and a matching hole appeared in Dick Grayson’s chest. 

Rachel screamed. 

She could feel something building in the pit of her stomach, something darker than she’d ever felt. It was pain and anger, bitterness, grief, toxic and boiling. It hurt as it grew, but it was also satisfying, complete, filling up her entire being with an electric surge. She could feel that darkness spreading, not just across her eyes, but through her whole face, up her arms, into every cell. She kept screaming, and she could feel her scream literally rending the air apart, ripping a hole in reality. This couldn’t be real, so she would make it unreal.   

“That’s it, darling, let it out,” Trigon murmured, watching the air around her shimmer and shred into pieces, the darkness spilling from her opening mouth into the field, consuming everything in its path. Wading through the grass littered with bodies, Angela joined him, clasping his hand. 

“Now, we eat the world?” 

“Yes, my love. Now, we eat the world.” 

Rachel heard them through the haze of grief and darkness surrounding her. She understood now—he needed her to jumpstart the process, tear the hole in the universe from which he could unravel the whole thing, covering it in his darkness. And part of her didn’t care. What world was worth saving that didn’t have Dick and Kory and Gar in it? Why live in the world if people like Hank and Dawn couldn’t live there, too? _Rachel, I’m so sorry. Rachel, don’t look, okay? Whatever he says, Rachel, this is not your fault. You are good. You are good. You are good._ In her mind, they died, over and over, the snap of Jason’s neck echoing over the thump of Gar’s chest collapsing, and Dawn kept screaming and screaming, and Kory, and Dick… 

The darkness within her was seeping out from every pore, now, a toxic shadow that seemed to eat at the very molecules of reality. She could feel the hole she’d made expanding, encompassing nearly the entire field. _Good_ , she thought. This world needed to die. She was powerful, and she’d had everything taken from her, and so she could take everything away from everyone else. Her grief was everywhere she looked, gnawing at her, gnawing at the fabric of the universe. 

_You are good. You’re not cursed, or evil. You are good. You are good._

_No_ , Rachel thought. _I’m not good._ She wanted revenge. She wanted chaos. The world would burn for what it took from her. Every world would burn for what she had lost. _Dick, Kory, Donna, Gar, Jason, Dawn, Hank, Dick, Kory, Donna…_ Their names became a kind of chant in her head, and with every beat she could feel herself growing stronger, more toxic. _Gar, Jason, Dawn, Hank…_ The world needed to burn. It had taken everything… 

“Perfect,” Trigon hummed, his words hovering on the edge of her awareness. “That’s right, my Raven, destroy it all.” 

_He_ had taken everything. Not the world, _him_. Trigon. Her father. Maybe she wasn’t good, but she wasn’t _his_ , either. Not after what he’d done. He didn’t get to win. 

In one instant, all of her anger turned from the universe onto him. Rachel could feel the air around her shiver with power, not chaotic but purposeful now. Her darkness stopped rending the universe apart and began swirling around her, ready to attack. She wasn’t the destroyer of worlds. 

But she was sure as hell the destroyer of Trigon. 

He seemed to notice that something had changed. “Come on, Raven, darling, burn them all! Just think of your precious little team, your family. They’re all gone, Raven, so there’s nothing left to fight for. Only darkness. Only emptiness. Only…” 

“My name,” she interrupted, “is Rachel.” 

Every ounce of power within her blasted out at once, an explosion of shadows that flattened the trees at the edges of the meadow and sent her mother flying into the air, landing against a rock with a sickening thud. Even Trigon was forced back a step, but he pushed back with his own darkness. She could feel the power struggle between them, and for a moment, she faltered. There was no way she could ever be stronger that her father. 

_You are good. You are good._

But the memory of those deaths, one by one by one, charged her with a power she could scarcely imagine. She screamed and she _pushed_ , unleashing all her fury, all her grief, all the loneliness and hopelessness of her fourteen years, all the darkness that reigned within her. She could feel herself drawing power from corners of her soul she’d never touched before, but the power was coming from somewhere else, too. It seeped up into her and joined her assault on Trigon, pushing him further and further back. 

It took a moment for her to realize what was happening, but suddenly it clicked—it was _her father’s power_. She was stealing it. He had taken what mattered most to her, so she was taking what mattered most to him: his power. She wasn’t sure how or why, but she knew instinctively that this was a skill he didn’t have—the ability to steal someone else’s darkness. 

“What… what are you doing?” He staggered back, then collapsed to his knees, hardly able to bear the weight of her attack. 

“Any last words?” she crooned back at him. 

“I’m your father…” he gasped. 

“I have no father.” With that, she snapped her fingers, and Trigon exploded into shadows that raced away from the light of the rising sun, dissipating into nothing. 

For a moment, Rachel continued to let the darkness swirl around her, wondering if it was over. When it became clear that Trigon really was gone, that he wasn’t coming back, she took in a deep breath, letting all that power fade back into herself. She crumpled, exhausted. 

The sun continued to rise over the field, illuminating the blood and ashes and unmoving forms of people she’d loved. 

She couldn’t seem to cry. It was like there was nothing left inside of her. For a long while, she sat in the center of the field, watching the sun come up, trying not to look at the bodies. 

Eventually, she noticed a shimmer in the air—the hole. It was still there, a shredded mess in the fabric of reality. _I should fix that_ , she thought, feeling for the edges of the hole with her mind. As she did, she also noticed something strange about the power within her. It felt… bigger, or more fitted to her body, and she realized that whatever darkness she had stolen from her father, she must have kept. His power was still there—her power, now. And it felt safer, easier to control. Rachel knew that from now on, the darkness wouldn’t be able to take over her. The evil part of her, the dark-eyed doppelganger who peered out from windows and mirrors, was gone, destroyed along with Trigon. In her place, there was just power, a darkness that wasn’t good or bad, just _there_ , for her to use however she wanted. 

Rachel closed her eyes and sent tendrils of that power out into the space around her, searching for every tiny rip and tear she’d caused. _Heal_ , she thought, letting the power seep out into the ground, the air, repairing the damage to reality. For several long moments, she stayed that way, kneeling on the trampled grass, healing the world until she felt like she might pass out from it. 

It unlocked something in her, and suddenly she could cry, the tears coming in great sobs that wracked her entire body. She curled up and let the sobs come, trying not to remember the sound Jason’s neck made when it snapped, the look of surprise on Dick’s face as he died, the way Kory didn’t even flinch… 

“Rachel?” 

She felt a hand on her shoulder, and she froze. That voice sounded like… 

When she sat up and opened her eyes, it took her a moment to adjust to the light and another to adjust to what she was seeing. There, crouched beside her, was Dick Grayson, alive and breathing. 

“Dick?” She pressed her hands to his face, his chest, amazed to find no trace of the gaping hole that Trigon had left there. “How are you alive?” 

“I don’t know, I just…” 

He was interrupted by movement as all across the field, ashes began to float towards each other, coalescing into the vague shape of a person. Rachel could feel the power behind it and suddenly understood: this was _her_ power, _her_ healing. She’d brought Dick back to life, and now… 

“Kory,” Dick said, his breath catching. 

Indeed, the body-shaped pile of ashes was no longer ash at all but Kory, who gasped back to life with a shudder. She began brushing at her clothes, her hair, taking a moment to realize that she was no longer on fire. 

In a heartbeat, Dick was beside her, scooping her up in his arms and hugging her tightly, crying. 

“Dick?” She pulled back a little, confused. “What happened? I was… I think I…” 

“You were dead.” Dick pushed a lock of hair back from her face. “You were dead, and I lost you, again, and I…” In a moment, they were kissing, desperate, as if they wanted to devour each other rather than risk losing each other ever again. 

“Gross,” said a voice from behind Rachel.

She held her breath as she turned, afraid to believe it, but there he was—alive and naked and smiling broadly. 

“Gar!” 

She nearly tackled him with her hug, not even caring that he was bare-ass naked. He was caught off-guard, but after a moment, his arms snaked around her and held her tight, so tight that it hurt a little but she didn’t care. 

“Are you okay?” she whispered, pulling away from the hug so she could see his face. 

He nodded, but something in his eyes said that he was not okay, that he remembered exactly what had happened to him and what it felt like, that they would need to do a lot of crying and talking and possibly therapy later. 

They were interrupted by Dick and Kory, who wanted their own hugs and to make sure Gar was alright. A few seconds later, Dawn was moving, groaning as she sat up and tried to figure out where she was. 

With each person who came back, Rachel worried that maybe they’d be the last, that perhaps her healing could only go so far. But apparently the added darkness she’d stolen from her father was more powerful than she’d thought, because in a matter of minutes they were all alive—Dawn and Hank embracing on the grass, Donna rubbing her throat, even Jason stalking around, unable to keep still. 

“Rachel, what happened?” Dick finally asked, once the shock of coming back to life had mostly worn off for everyone and once Gar had found some clothes. 

Rachel explained how Trigon had killed them all, one by one, to break her heart, how it had almost worked. She tried to explain the battle of wills, what Trigon intended for her to do and what she’d done instead, but it was all very complicated and mostly feelings instead of concrete thoughts, so she wasn’t quite sure if anyone understood. She told them how she had stolen power from her father and used it to destroy him and then heal everyone. 

“Oh, Rachel,” breathed Kory, coming in close to hug her. “I’m so sorry you had to see all of that and deal with everything by yourself.” 

“It’s okay.” 

“It’s not,” said Dick. “But you did good, Rachel. I’m proud of you.” 

Eventually, they couldn’t stay in the field any longer. The group might have come back to life, but their minor injuries from the battle still remained and needed some medical attention, plus everyone agreed that food and booze—lots of it—were in order. 

On the way, they found Angela’s body, still crumpled against a rock where she’d landed after the blast. 

“You could probably bring her back, too,” said Kory softly. 

Rachel pondered for a moment, imagining what would happen if she brought her mother back to life, what would need to be said and done. Finally, she shook her head. “Let’s just go home.” 

“Where is that?” Gar asked, and the group began bickering about whether they should go to Gotham or D.C. or Angela’s house or one of the Justice League’s safe houses or just a hotel somewhere, but Rachel barely heard. 

As she looked around at the people she loved so much—Dick with his hand in Kory’s, Hank leaning against Dawn’s shoulder, Gar jittery in his favorite jacket, even Donna and Jason, whom she barely knew—as she looked at them, Rachel knew that no matter where they went, she had already found her home.

**Author's Note:**

> So I didn't realize that they'd cut episode 12 and moved it to season 2, so I was very much expecting a resolution to that cliffhanger-y, dark!Dick nonsense and got a little... angsty?... when I found out the truth. Oops. Anyway, I guess I was expecting more heartbreak for Raven as per Trigon's ominous dialogue from episode 10 and this is what grew out of that expectation. But I'm also a sucker for happy(ish) endings, plus I really wanted to add at least a little Dick/Kory.


End file.
